THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING

FROM LINDA’S DESK

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      SPECIAL HOLIDAY EDITION FROM LINDA’S DESK

 

 

 

TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

 

These days of preparation and the active day can be difficult for the loved ones of an addict.  The following suggestions can be helpful coping with our many emotions, such as sadness, despair, sorrow, helplessness, anger, guilt and trying to act as if everything is “fine”.

These days of preparation and the active day can be difficult for the loved ones of an addict.  The following suggestions can be helpful coping with our many emotions, such as sadness, despair, sorrow, helplessness, anger, guilt and trying to act as if everything is “fine”.

  1. Change your focus: From expectations to what you need to do just for today.
  2. Preparing:  For the holidays with focus on what has to be done, make a list, and do it! Even if you do one or twelve you’ll feel better at what you’ve accomplished example; cleaning, shopping, and cooking, Should you find yourself giving into your emotions call a group member ( ask which member would be available to take your call (when calling ask first if it’s a good time for them to talk), get out to the library a book store, visit a shut-in or someone in the hospital or nursing home.(They too can be lonely and a short visit can make them happier) Put effort into what you can do for self and /or others.)
  3.   Have alternatives:

A.    If having holidays at home invite not only family but invite someone who is alone or only has a small family. It could be a friend, a neighbor or whoever would help keep you focused on preparing for others.

 

B.        Accept invitation from anyone where the addict would NOT be the topic in any form.

 

C.        Go out to a restaurant

 

D.    Take a short trip to a place you always said you wanted to see can even pack a lunch or a light supper.

 

E.     Go out for coffee or brunch

 

F.     PREPARE ahead by going to the library and get a book you would enjoy.

 

G.    Get some videos of movies or documentaries you’ve wanted to see ( NO HOLIDAY MOVES)! Get hobby supplies. Plan on what you might want to eat.

 

 

 

4.     Day of holiday or days: If alone or if alone as a couple. Just choose to:

A.     Go out for coffee (possibly include breakfast).

B.     Go for a walk around a park, in the woods, etc.

C.    Then go read that book watch the videos ( again no holiday or family movies). Work on your hobbies, listen to music (can exercise while listening). Eat what you planned while watching tv alone or if a couple. Also, as a couple can set romantic table even if having soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

 

2.     Above all: That day DO NOT MENTION or talk about the addict. The addict will be getting a strong message. Remember the addict is very resourceful in getting their own needs met.

3.     End of the day: Take a long shower or bubble bath. Take a book or magazine to bed to read till you fall asleep.

4.     Remember: The holidays are only one or a few days and you CAN get through them by focusing on yourself from thinking or talking about the addict and the what was, what if’s -anything that would take away from being a healthy, productive self. Stress increases your risk of illness

( which makes you useless  to yourself and others).

5.     If an addict is recovering for less than one year, Be Careful.  Discuss this situation with your group!

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

90% OF FAMILIES ARE DYSFUNCTIONAL THE OTHER  10% ARE IN DENIAL!

 

Parents Support Group NJ. Inc.

P.O. Box 221 (W.O.B)

West Orange, NJ. 07052

973-399-9070 or 800-561-4299

www.psgnjhomestead.com

psgnj1@aol.com

Karol Sullivan

Executive Director